Motivation & Relaxation + Link to Live WTF show at the Echoplex

I took a walk around the Griffith Observatory on an insanely clear day this past weekend with my Dad and my brother where we had a lengthy discussion about motivation and relaxation. The conversation started with by brother relating a similar dialogue he'd had with someone at the airport during his layover. When the man asked my brother what he did for a living, that was easy; I'm a personal wealth banker, he replied. However, when he asked my brother what he did for fun, my brother admitted to being stumped.

"How sad," he would tell my father and I, "that I don't have anything to do for fun. I go to work and to the gym, watch the occasional baseball game or movie with my wife but I don't have a specific outlet to relax."

Our discussion then turned towards the question of what specifically motivated us, and I must admit to being stunned by their answers. Both my father and brother claimed that making money was their primary motivation in life. When I think about it objectively I suppose I shouldn't be surprised; I mean, after all, my father is a real estate agent and my brother is a banker who sells financial investment packages to the wealthy. Both of these occupations are intrinsically built on making money through salesmanship.

So perhaps more surprising than my family's motivation to me was my motivation to my dad and my brother. I told them my motivation and my mode of relaxation were all tied up in the same things--being creative, making music, and traveling. It got us wondering whether or not it is necessary as an artist to not care about making money. It's an interesting question that I plan to explore in future conversations with other artists and hopefully post some results.

A brief disclaimer: when I say I don't care about money, the proof is in the pudding. I work as a waiter and my wife and I's combined income is less than 60 grand a year. I used to think that was so much money! Anyone living in LA, NYC, or SF knows that's not the case, especially if you are in a band, as we tend to spend between 5 and 10 grand a year on music related expenses. However, even though money is not a predominate motivating factor in my decision making, I do not dislike money and I do recognize that I need to make some money in order to live in 2009 American society. The crux of the situation is knowing that if someone offered me an opportunity to make twice the amount of money I currently make to work in an office or manage a restaurant, I'd turn them down. But if someone offered me a ton on money to write a jingle for Jack In the Box, I'd have a far tougher decision to make. Man, talking about money just feels icky, but it shouldn't. We all have to deal with it, we should be able to discuss it freely.

Lastly, in a completely unrelated topic, I came across a link that enables the savvy internet surfer listening access to a live show that Wait.Think.Fast. performed at the Echoplex on Saturday November 28th. It sounds pretty good and it is packed with new jams from their upcoming record. You can check it out here. Just click on the Travel Tips for Aztlan show midway down the page. The WTF show is about 30 minutes into the podcast.

Thanksgetting: The System Is Rigged Against You

I'm aware of how over-the-top the title of this post sounds, and while there is a certain amount of melodramatic affectation involved, I am a bit concerned for all of us. Contrary to what many people believe, we are not a Christian nation, we are a Consumer nation. Our national brand of capitalism has ingrained this philosophy into all walks of American life: the more you have, the happier you are.

When stated that frankly, I would hope most people would cry "bullshit" to our national credo, but whether we're aware of it or not, we still seem to operate as if the above statement were true. Especially after our latest economic downturn it seems blatantly obvious that greed is god here--for goodness sake, we've taken a holiday founded on a principle of giving thanks and turned it into a day that excuses gluttony and personifies consumerism. And let's not forget that the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year; that's not an accident.

Ok, Ben, what the hell is this commie crap all about?

I want to be content. Not happy, but content. Happiness depends largely on outside circumstances, but contentment is something that comes from within. However the system I'm living in is rigged to prevent me from being content if I live by its confines. But if I can be content without continually needing more than what I already have, then the system begins to crumble. In this new system, getting more becomes a blessing instead of an impulse that once fulfilled leaves us empty.

Therefore, this year I am going to truly celebrate thanksgiving by being thankful. I find it difficult to be depressed if I am thinking of others, and I've found it very difficult to feel dissatisfied when I am thankful for all the things I've been blessed with, materially, yes, but more so, relationally. I am thankful for my wife and my family and I am blessed beyond words for all the friends that I share this adventure with. Thanks to you for reading, thanks for coming to shows, thanks for listening to the records. I know it can feel self serving from time to time because music gives us pleasure, but know that everyone who's a part of the Chain Letter Collective, Summer Darling, Kissing Cousins, Death House Chaplain, Past Haunts, and Vicious Scully is very grateful for your time and thoughts.

Have a fulfilling Thanksgiving. If you can't think of anything to be thankful for, give me a call, because I am thankful for you.

Chain Letter will resume Monday, November 30th.

New Music Tuesday: Summer Darling

Dan and I got together last night at his place and had some fun recording alternate versions of some of the songs on the new record. It especially makes us laugh that we are releasing alternate versions before the "real" versions! This jam is called "The One Who Loves You." and it's the first Summer Darling song in eight years to feature a banjo! S Foye is putting the finishing touches this week on the mixes and we expect to have it ready for mastering next week, which means our long wait is nearing an end! So many other exciting things happening in camp SD, but I don't want to get ahead of ourselves. For now enjoy this video.

The Terrapin at Silver Factory Studios

I met Rufo, the drummer of the Terrapin, about two years ago, but I honestly can't remember the precise circumstances surrounding our meeting. I do remember hanging out with him at KXLU with Sean from the Voyeurs when Summer Darling played on air and I do remember playing with the Terrapin at Que Sera in Long Beach pretty early on in our relationship. On Friday night, Death House Chaplain had the pleasure of opening for them at Silver Factory Studios. I enjoy the laid back house party vibe of Silver Factory. Many thanks go out to Rocco and Danny for providing such a comfortable fun setting for rock and roll shows. The sound keeps getting better and better there as well. (Just as I was about to post I heard that Silver Factory was shut down by the Los Angeles Police Department Saturday night but hopefully they will be up and running again soon.)

While this post definitely recognizes the swift progression the Terrapin continue to make towards being a very exciting noise pop group, the focus is actually on their affable, kind spirited drummer. Anyone who's been in the east side scene the last two years probably has met Rufo knowingly or unknowingly. The guy oozes friendly positivity. At a show a few months back I was down in the dumps about something or other and over all just discouraged about music and bands in general. Rufo allowed me to pile my bull shit on him, and then gently reminded me why we do this in the first place: because we love it and nothing else means as much to us or the people around us. It wasn't that I forgot these things, but I needed someone outside of myself to confirm them.

Often I find that all we need when we're confused or depresesd is to know one other person who's struggling with the same issues that can reaffirm our convictions. Growing up in the Christian church there was much hoopla made of the importance of going every Sunday. I haven't been to church in many years, but now I recognize the importance of having a support group of like minded people to lean on when you're struggling. I'm proud to be a part of Rufo's church and I hope he's a proud member of the church of Summer Darling as well.

Conclusions on Sobriety

My month long trek across the barren desert that is sobriety comes to a close on Monday. On a run around the Silver Lake reservoir today I reflected on what's different, what's the same, and some tips for next time.

What's Different Drinking definitely contributed to a low lying complacency I had towards my goals. This last month I've played more music, wrote more songs, and practiced my playing more than any other time in recent memory, all while Summer Darling has been on hiatus! Alcohol is not a bad thing for me intrinsically, but I discovered when I use alcohol as a replacement for what really gets me off I become listless and uncreative. I certainly believe there's room to enjoy alcohol while playing music, but my days of drinking all afternoon without picking up the guitar are over.

What's the Same I've enjoyed all the shows I've played and attended and the music I've made this past month sober as much as when I'm drinking. I wasn't what to expect from being a sober musician because I suspected that part of me played music as an excuse to be a mild drunk. There's a certain temptation to continue the "lifestyle" because it affords specific freedoms, one being drinking at all times without that much guilt. Had wanting to be a musician just been an excuse for me to live like I was 21 for the rest of my life? Happily the answer to that question is no. If I was given the choice to either be able to play music in some capacity for the rest of my life without alcohol or to have an infinite supply of free alcohol but no musical outlet I know now what choice I'd make--and it would be an easy one. I'd sure miss those brown Kentucky liquors, but I'd thrive no less. With or without booze, playing music is everything.

Next Time There are some side effects to ditching the brewskies cold turkey that I want to recall for the next time I afford myself a month long bout with clarity.
1. No sauce makes you testy and this can compromise your close relationships. Man, I snapped at my wife about everything that first week, but unintentionally so. I was under a constant cloud of annoyance, the feeling that something inside was off and had tainted the world around me. It's important to be aware that this feeling is natural and it does no good to express your frustration by being a shit head to those close to you.
2. There's a unique thirst that comes from drinking on a regular basis. The only non alcoholic beverage that works to semi-quench the thirst is sparkling water. I recommend Waiwera from New Zealand. Delicious! Contrary to what I suspected, non alcoholic beer is not all that good for this. While beer is tasty, most non alcoholic beers come across flat and lifeless to the pallet, plus you get all the calories and none of the get up and go.
3. Speaking of calories, this brings me to number three: I am hungry all the time. My normal routine has me eating only one real meal a day, usually in the afternoon or early evening. When you're off the sauce this ain't gonna cut it. My challenge was to not binge on Chubby Hubby Ice Cream or cookies from my work every night. Heather can attest to how often I failed this challenge.
4. Depression. I was surprised that I could feel every bit as hopeless and lost sober as when I was drinking. Those feelings, I've learned, are inherent to the human condition and a necessary by product of thinking critically about the world around you. As long as I chose not to let these feelings define my reality I am able to embrace them for their ability to inspire creativity and keep me humble.

I go back and forth on whether I am excited to start drinking again. I'm concerned I won't be able to keep it under control. I'm afraid I'll be re-enslaved. I'm nervous about feeling that first buzz. But then I remember the way beer tickles the nose after a long pull, the way Bourbon warms you from the inside, the smell of a luscious red wine as you breath in and sip simultaneously. I have my hunch; I'll let you know.

Catching Up with Tracy from Twilight Sleep

Heather and I got the opportunity Tuesday to drop in on Twilight Sleep as they record new material in an ultra plush, brand new studio in Silver Lake. I'd love to say more about the details of the studio but we were sworn to secrecy! Anyway, after a long hiatus spent writing and recording new material and assembling a new band, we were pleased to hear Tracy and Company are going to start playing shows again! Twilight Sleep's new line up features Davey Latter on drums, who also plays for Everest, Nicole Gehweiler on guitar, who also plays guitar for The Comas, and Nicole Fiorentino on bass, who also plays in Light FM, and of course our dear Tracy Marcellino heading things up with her spectacular other-worldly vocals and synth lines.

While a January show is planned with Kissing Cousins, you can catch Twilight Sleep before then at Spaceland Nov 30th supporting the Happy Hollows residency.

Here's the song "Don't Fire Your Guns" from their last EP Race to the Bottom of the Sea. Expect new amazing jams early next year!

We Can't Both be Right, Can We? The Chain Letter Mission Statement

Recently I got into a discussion with a band mate over a post I did on this blog. While the details of the argument are somewhat irrelevant, we were able to boil it all down to this question: Who do I represent when I write this blog? My friend was of the opinion that whatever band I am writing about, if I am in that band, then what I write must be interpreted as representative of that band. To use a elementary analogy, if I write in my blog that Summer Darling played a show at a bar and that the show sucked, this can be construed as the opinion of Summer Darling.

Is my friend right? Well, yes. His opinion is correct because as a member of a band my opinion makes up a portion of the opinion of the band as a whole. However, the things I say and do, especially things not advertised or presented as the official opinion or stance of the band (i.e. thoughts and feelings expressed on my personal blog), must at best be recognized and scrutinized as only part of a band's opinion but not the whole opinion. This of course would be a hard sell if I were the only member of the band, but luckily in all the bands I'm in I share the experience with other people, so to equate my opinion to the opinion of the band's as a whole disregards the opinions of the other band members.

Do my personal thoughts and feelings influence those of my bands? Absolutely. But let's allow room for opinions to be expressed that may not be in the best interest of the bands, because after all, that's what this blog is about. I want to share with you the good and bad that happens before and after a show or during the making of a record. It's dishonest and not in the spirit of this blog to follow the old adage "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I find it fascinating and edifying when other people in bands share their discouraging moments and disparaging thoughts and what venues suck and what booker is an asshole and what band just plain ruins their day just as much as I savor and enjoy those same peoples' triumphs, positive tips on where to play, who to play with, and how in the hell we can possibly continue to do this without giving up. Let's make a commitment then to really examine and think critically about what happens around us, and let's realize that I'm not always going to say things that will make everybody happy. I do pledge to avoid intentional shit talking but because this is inherently subjective, I can't guarantee what I write won't sometimes be interpreted as such by others. If you have to stop listening to my band or stop booking my band because of something I write on Chain Letter, that is certainly your prerogative and I will respect that decision as much as I wish it to be recognized that some separation exists between my opinions and that of the bands I'm in. It may be wishful thinking, but I'd like to believe as it pertains to this discussion that we can both be right.