Hey, Hey, My, My. Rock and Roll Is About to Die.

I spent some time this weekend watching parts of the 25th Anniversary Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert. While this sucker clocked in at over 4 hours and featured performances by countless rock and roll "legends," some of who still play like they mean it, I couldn't help but notice the median age of the performers on stage to be roughly 61. It got me thinking seriously about rock and roll as the institution the Boomers built and judging by this drawn out HBO special, Rock and Roll is gonna die.

Our evening started with a rousing yet empty speech by Tom Hanks filled with hundred dollar metaphors for five cent sentiments. Who better to kick off the night than a man precisely representative of Rock and Roll's modern demographic: upper middle-aged, chubby, successful white people clinging on to some rebellious and stubborn ideal that exists only in their memory and on corporate classic rock stations, reminding them that "Rock and Roll changed the world" but neglecting the fact that after these people changed the world they it unchanged again. The same generation that heralded peace and free love is the generation controlling America's modern war machine and denying tax paying citizens the ultimate expression of love, the civil right to marry. So sorry, Tom, if I didn't get swept up in the emotion of the moment.

Judging by the night's performers, of whom the youngest was a rock band so terrified of change they sued an internet company for allowing kids to download their music for free, Rock and Roll is dying. We had the plump CEO versions of our former rock stars like Crosby, Stills, and Nash and the death-on-a-stick mockups like Jeff Beck and Mick Jagger. The only ones who still had the gleam of life without the stink of surgery or lackadaisical record sales was the Boss and Bono. Dudes still look good.

While it's amusing to poke fun at these aging performers' appearance, it is hard to ignore the fact that this event celebrated a generation of rock and rollers that has completely lost its relevance and unless they start bringing new acts into the fold these concerts are gonna get shorter and shorter as these codgers with guitars start croaking. Thinking conservatively, there's plenty of performers in their late 30s and 40s making relevant and challenging rock music. Instead of rolling out Jerry Lee Lewis, whose hands miraculously could still tinkle the ivories but whose face looked like an inexpressive mask, why not invite Sonic Youth or Radiohead or Wilco or, dare I say it, whatever politically radical, sonically polite yawn band Tom Morello is playing in these days, to warm up the stage. Then honor the relics with lifetime achievement awards and whatever the yuppie rock equivalent of a gold watch is. And better yet, why not introduce the grandfathers of rock to some things the kids are actually listening to these days? God forbid a band like Health or No Age share the stage with James Taylor. Grizzly Bear opened for Paul Simon before why not hook it up again for a national audience? Instead we get James Hatfield and Ozzie Osbourne.

I predict a more disheartening end for this age of Rock and Roll. While in the 60s and 70s record sales and talented bands had a positive correlation, one only has to watch the sad joke that is the Grammy's to know that popular music today is dominated by marketing strategies rather than true musicianship. While it could be argued that this is more of a criticism of today's music consumer (and by all means the modern casual music listener is at a serious disadvantage), I still believe that the musicians actually carrying on the mantle of rock and roll are usually not the ones atop the Billboard charts. I'm afraid the fathers of this movement are more apt to pass the torch to the Linkin Parks and John Mayers than they are to the Deerhunters and Elloitt Smiths, and when that happens, their rock and roll will be truly dead. Until then I can't wait for the 3oth Anniversary special destined to feature a Beatles reunion where Brian Wilson and Jimmy Buffet play the parts of John Lennon and George Harrison via Rock Band while Ringo drums in a wheel chair and Paul McCartney accompanies them via satellite from a plastic surgery recovery ward. Rock on.